It's a new year.

It's a frightening year, to be honest. I mean, there's going to be so many changes and new environments. Of course, not to mention all the challenges and responsibilities.

Therefore, I hope I have started my year on the right track. That is, since I'm so free now, I really ought to do something other than ballet lessons and slacking at home. Hence...I decided to dedicate some time to church.

By joining Project Timothy!

Today was Proj.Tim's first session. It was held in Dickson's house and lasts for 3 hours or so. Kind of realize that 16 years old (those turning 17 this year that is) are the youngest there. Most of the participents (also known as the Timothys), are all either 18 or 19. Some are working or studying in university now. The timetable seems frighteningly busy with so much hands-on projects such as organizing the campus celebration held on the first friday of every month and Ministry Attachments. But oh! I'm sure it would be really beneficial for me!Can't wait for the mission trip in June...

Also, I joined the Poly/ITE cell, which is held every Wednesday night in Dickson's house. It was good that I know a couple of people there such as Shin Hwey, Melissa, Joshua, Sherron, someone who looked really really like Yeah Lih and some others whom I have forgotten their names...

This is probably what my schedule will look like now until March:

Monday- Ballet (8-9.30pm)
Tuesday- Free
Wednesday- Cell group (7-10pm)
Thursday- Ballet (5-6.30pm, 8.30-9.45pm)
Friday- Campus Celebration (5-10pm?)
Saturday- Proj.Tim (10.30-1pm), church service (4.30-6.30pm)
Sunday- Free

Well.

At least most of my nights are filled up. Which leaves room for other stuffs like the Proj.Tim projects to be done in the mornings and afternoons. That also means I can spend my time constructively as well.

*from the movie: Hot Shots* [Warning: Not actual quotes]

Scene: Main character finds the prisoner, Dexter, and is trying to rescue him out of the house.

Dexter (played by Rowan Atkinson): I can't go anywhere, they've tied my shoelaces...
Main character (whose name I've forgotten): What?!
Dexter: Dead knot...
Main character: Bastards!

*cough* Yeah, I know I'm not suppose to use vulgarities but this is just some quotes. I couldn't stop laughing at this, it's just...ridiculous!!

Oh, and now my sis wants me to join Badminton classes, probably on Sundays...wow. Anyway, I hope all of you are spending your time constructively as well!

"Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

//I shouldn't have done it. I should not be doing it. I can't stand the fact that I'm too soft-hearted at times. To the point that I actually allow people to step over my head. Sometimes, being kind is my poison...//

Today, I'm happy! Hahaha! It's got something to do with 2 cups of tea. Caffeine makes me high...

And while I'm high, I thought I'll update my blog. So here it goes:

Today, I went to school with Carlene. The GO people are just getting worse, I...I'm speechless.I shan't badmouth them and neither shall I pinpoint but ain't it obvious who I'm refering to? Glad I'm out of school because then, I don't have to face their attitude everyday.And being with the GO people, well, suddenly my sucking up skills have improved tremendously.

Politeness goes a long way. Can't they understand that?

Of course, with politeness comes sincerity...but I think that would be a different story altogether. Sometimes when I am polite, I become too formal and hence, too cold. But of course, some people managed to be polite and at the same time, warm. Take Mdm Su and Mrs Koh for example!

Anyway, I have changed my mind. I would like to be a mother. Scrap off that pregnancy part, perhaps I shall adopt a child? In fact, I wish I could adopt a child now...as in a sibling. After the tsunami, there are so many children that have suddenly become orphans.And since I'm so free now, instead of putting my attention in computer, tv and...my hamster, why not a human being?My own sister's getting older and I've seen how my younger cousins grow up and look up to me. Sometimes, it scares me to know that I am their role model because then, I have to be perfect. Well, I strive for perfection since...a long time ago.

But I would like to turn my attention and affection to someone else. Someone I can nurture and I can spend time working on...someone I have to crack open to understand...someone I can prode and test for their reaction...someone that can surprise and amuse me...I need a challenge of some sort. My mum suggested helping my primary one cousin- Fabian. But that's not a challenge, I know what kind of person Fabian is. What fun would that be?

I absolutely enjoy being the eldest in the household. Though yes, there are a lot of responsibilities to bear, and yes there's always that constant duty to protect my sibling but I've always enjoyed the authority. With authority, comes (usually) respect. Granted, there are times when I wish I had someone to look up to as well as someone that I can follow in and who would look out for me but after a while, I guess I prefer to path my own way for others to follow. I enjoy being a role model. Perhaps it is due to the attention, the respect, the expectations and responsibilites I get.

When I have nothing to do, I feel useless.

Hence, I need to have something to do.

Well, I guess currently I can have my attention to my hamster, got to shower it with more love.

Today, I stepped out of my house. Yup, for once. Haha...I went to accompany my parents to the Changi General Hospital. One other reason for my going there is just to see how the hospital looks like and get a rough idea what it would be like working there.

We went at about 10.30am to CGH and got lost trying to find Lobby B. Then when we finally found it, I had a staring contest with this guy who sat right in front of me. I mean, what is his problem?? He kept staring at me and if I hadn't been wearing that cross necklace, I would have had gotten right up in his face and asked him what the hell he wanted.

Pardon the swearing but honestly, people staring at me ticks me off real bad. Just like people eating very loudly and with their mouth open.

Anyway, dad had his blood pressure taken before he had a needle inserted into his vein on the back of his palm. We waited for a very long time before the doctor comes and wheels him into the room to do the endoscope. At the mean time, we were listening to another person beside us, who has done his endoscope, munching seriously loudly while eating his sandwich and milo. Geez, talk about having table manners...

Anyway, while dad was out cold after the endoscope, we went down to the cafeteria to get lunch. Service was slow, food was rather tasteless but hey, it's still food. Think about the people affected by the tsunami, they had no food. After that, mum and I walked all the way to East Point and did some window shopping before going back again. We decided to follow this nurse back to the hospital ( as usual, we kind of got lost...) and the poor woman thought we were robbers or something. ^^''

Am I going to be really free these three months? No, not quite. I'm taking up ballet three times a week, two major grades so hopefully I might be able to go for the exam maybe this year or next. And hopefully this time, something doesn't happen to my foot that prevents me from going into exam like it did last time...that was terrible, I pulled a muscle in my ankle just weeks before my exam. Had to limp for at least a month and was exempted from PE until the year ends. Then, I went into a huge argument with my ballet teacher...

I'm also thinking of learning something new since my dad said he could afford it. No jobs spark my interest, really...they're boring, I'd rather stay home and sew. Maybe I'll run down to Hong Kong to learn cooking from my aunt but that's a bad idea because I would be missing ballet classes. So I thought I might learn a language such as german. Then my dad and I can speak to each other in german, why not? Or I could go take art photography lessons...

Oh no...I don't know how to end this entry. Nevermind, entry ends here. Take care everyone!

"There are three kinds of people in the world:
1) People who make things happen.
2) People who watch things happen.
3) People (e.g me) who wonder what on earth just happened."